squarepantsdomo

pls dont put up an act.but when actually ur trying to ignore me.it sucks.that doubtful feeling sucks.pls dont tell me you join forces with her please anything else but her please.fucked up life.paranoid feeling.i never had this before.not even last year :'/

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idk what this feeling is called.jealousy?anger?sad?hopeless?
when i heard about it,i chose not to believe but its like as if u just stabbed me.cos if it was true,im jealous cos you had ur times wif her.sad and hopeless cos i wont get anything.like one year ..since last year may,i just felt so deeply hurt but i know i wont gain anything.idk how to say it,i dont want you to be giving me hopes but yet i also dont want you to leave or ignore me.i need you.yes i do
so that i can be stronger,i may not overcome this,i may not learn that i cant be wif you but at least ur still there wif me.im sorry if i made you feel bad or guilty,its me.i thought the feeling will go away on a long term but instead it grew stronger.i really dot know how to face you anymore.i dont know how to give up.i dont know how to let go and i dint know whose my hero :( she likes you.you might be able to accept and appreciate her.dont worry i will kill myself in silence.i trust you not to share whats between us.im
not like her.i will not cry in front of others cos of you neither will i argue with another girl who is also after you.i will do it silently.i will give up and let go silently.they stand a better chance.i know im a burden screwed up to you but im sorry for everything.im sorry for behaving like a fool.

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in what way do you think its that easy for me to give up those feelings.one bloody year feeling just to go away like that.dont you think its mad?easy to say,break friendship uh. :(

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yea you deserve her so much better than i do.in fact you dont even need to look at my face.just want you to know and not ignore me afterwards,i like you,my feelings did not change.last year i treated you so well cos i wanted to be given a chance but i realise you have someone else in mind thats when i gave up and started to have on and off moods with you.and i started treating you badly.until now i must say then its worst than last year.i really think we should end it there and for all.you shouldnt talk to me cos i need to move on n i know if i stay you wont be with me.i just dont know how to tell you.hais i dont know how to give up and forget you.i wanna kill myself,for your sake.;'(

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everyone notice the difference in me.but idk really what to do.if i were to tell you again,it will definitely not work.it happened before and i dont want it to repeat again.i felt trashed by you before and i know its the worst feeling i ever wanted.if only you will that understanding and give me another chance.well apparently the asnwer is stated clearly that you wont.im sorry friend to make you guys worried but my life revolves this way.i keep on missing the same person over n over again from last june despite being trashed.my feelings for him didnt change after g.idk why.he doesnt know.his like the perfect person after g but i know his out for someone else :'( FML

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im the selfish an stupid one.im the one who will not make it for o levels.i will be the one causing trouble,not working hard,dont do and assigned.and im the worst.im always the one missing ad irritating you.im the one who cant forget you and desperately need you now.im the one who thinks that you will come back and im the one who had my hopes up high.just like that and everythings gone.why cant you feel the pain?is it cos youe never had felt the pain or you just dont care.its hard to go a day without texting you.watever it is i wish you all the best last long with her. :'( i need the time of my own to calm myself down.im sorry you have to entertain all this crap but i really want you back and not some other girls you pick up cos there better.academically of cos need-.-!

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past few days isnt good either.rushing for hw every day isnt fun at all.its just that stressful.hais i really gave up just like that.yes i dont want to get involved in such things alrdy.i should concentrate much on my studies.anyway i think alex is the dope for the sec ones ay!heh!cute/handsome!ive yet to finish up the assignments.well lets see tmrw i will return home straight away after supp!i have tuition after that! :( omgggg!can someone enlighten me with the sec fours being stress thingy?seriously...friday occupied.saturday occupied.i dw to do anything on sunday.my bdae yes but shall jst stay home :/

you used to be my motivator.dk seriously..where are you?i need you by my side :( im DYING to see you.and for
you,see!explains it all!you talk to me
only when i start the convi first and hen im in a good mood.haissss.i dw to talk to
you alrdy.pls im only using you to forget him :'(

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had band today.was alright i guess.love the section on duty part best.heh.oh well,i kida give up on them alrdy.every practice without fail surely theres smth stupid that happened or going on -.-advice my ass.so useless.idk feel like i just need to step down earliest!shit much.idk.

G,
i saw her,got reminded of you straight away and my mood totally change i have no idea why.sighhhh y do i miss you that much?idk feel so empty without you.maybe cos hen i was with you,you treated me best n never fail to just try your best to be with me all the time.caring,thoughtful person.i miss you,really no words can describe.all the post seems shitty much i really want you back.yes i regretted,for not treating you the same way back,i always took care of how to face ppl first.i regretted that very much,cos these chances only comes once in a lifetime?i miss you every single day nothings gonna change,i feel really miserable after you left.cos i just got to open up to you better.when i was at my worst recently i felt like nths left for me cos no ones gonna cheer me up either..how are you doing?well?are you feeling the same?have you forgotten me?did you find someone who can appreciates you better?i hope not :( did she came into ur life and wanted to stay in it forever?is there someone in ur heart that ur thinking about now?did you close ur heart and never gonna let anyone stay in it anymore cos you regretted meeting me?did you feel sad up till today?sighhhh :/ i miss you piggy...

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third day of sch.sucks much.test and hw!ive been putting on a smile for past few days.sucks much.i really dont want to push myself but thinking about it,im kinda need time for myself.hais i really am
lost.i want you,i need you but we just had someone else to ruin it.you need/want me i disagree.now i really need you want you desparately waiting for every single day for you to suddenly make a choice again to come back to my life.which is highly impossible.ive guessed youve moved on.i just wish the best for you.

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i just keep missing you more and more each day.i dont know whats wrong with me.i really miss ur presence in my life.can you at least pay me a visit and dont just disappear like that?cos all your msges dont seems convincing that ur missing me that much.i think your just adding flower to the sentence.can you pls prove me wrong and i just want to at least spend a whole day with you.i want to hug you tightly and not leting go.i miss your back hugs i miss your features i miss ur comforting.i miss you physically.everything.im dying to see you.no one can replace you.i love you.handsome,i miss calling you that.when will you return.i swear do want you!!!:'(

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